Cock in the house

Please imagine The Black Keys: Ten Cent Pistol & She's Long Gone playing the background. Wade Bowen: Handle too.

 Tonight was Monthly Occurrence. The monthly occurrence is something to dread the start of, a relief of happiness when in the middle of it and relaxed when it is over. It is only once a month, and just the right amount of to stay sane. The date always sneaks up, but also predictable.

 Monthly Occurrence is a once a month girls meet-up organized by amazing Heather. The rules of the occurrence are as follows: NO BOYS (okay, sometimes the four legged males are allowed), no agenda and only cool/chill chicks.

Live Simply & with claw in your  amazing concoction

The established girls share a bond through their beer-smart male counterparts. Tonight we had chickens... in the house, and apparently I bring the crazy entertainment. The new rule is MY invitees need to fill out an application to attend. Dear girls: please consider yourself socially acceptance if I have invited you, they do not require an application AND you are invited back by me or anyone else.

People you sound yourself with are a reflection of your personality, or the person you desperately strive to be. Thank you to the core group of friend who reassure the caring, amazing, caring smart woman.

It is like Storage Wars, but better!

I am a bridesmaid in a wedding in 4 weeks, and just realized I cannot zip the dress all the way to the top. Aww, crap, guess I need to start running/riding seriously again.

This morning I had a great 3 mile run around the Memorial Park Loop, until I realized that I had dropped my car key. Fortunately for me, it was JUST my car key. Unfortunately for me, the rest of my keys were hidden and locked in my car, with my wallet. Fortunately for me, I had a spare key at home, and unfortunately it was 5:30 in the morning. Thank you to my amazingly awesome friend, Colleen, who picked me up, and allowed me to drive her car for the day. I did have to wait for my apartment management office open to change for work. When it did, here is the I-cannot-make-this-up-conversation with the leasing agent (please note: her manager was sitting behind her within ear shot)

Me: insert story above here, so is there anyway you could let me into my apartment?

Agent: Sure, do you have an ID?

Me: I do not, because it is locked (and hidden) in my car, but I can show you my passport when we get to my place. I can even describe to you what it looks like before you open it.

Agent: I am sorry, I can not give you the spare key with out an ID.

Me: Oh, well I can leave my iPhone or my fiend's car keys with you while I go get my spare key.

Agent: Well I can make you a copy, but I have to charge you $25.00.

Me: But I do not have $25.00. I was just running!?!

Agent: (pointing to the drop box over her shoulder) I can't accept cash, I will note it in your file and you can drop it off in the box later.

Me: Wait, you are saying you will not give me a temporary key since I do not have an ID, but you will sell me one for $25.00 and I can pay you back later?

Agent: Well once I make the key, I have to charge you for it.
Now I am starting to think I am dreaming, because normal people would not miss this point. I am not in a dream.

Me: So you will sell me, without an ID, a copy of the key to my apartment, but will not loan me a key, call maintenance or let me in yourself since I do not have an ID?

Agent: Well you are going to need to buy another key since you lost it this morning, right?

Me: No, my apartment key is in my car I just lost my car key.
I had to pause to remind myself what I was about to start arguing with.
Me: Never mind, I will figure another way to get in.

(Me walking away)
Agent: Okay, here you go; just bring it back.

SHE NEVER GOT IT! NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE JAW-DROPPING MOMENT. I am sure this was more than just laziness.

The moral of the story is that my soon to be previous apartment complex is like Storage Wars, but better because you do not have to bid and can bill the real owner for it. Maybe I should buy a key/bill a few owners around the complex for their additional key. I could leave it on their door with a note like 'I just got you an additional key to your apartment. Please do not worry, since I only borrowed your under ware for a few hours :)'
side note: I would not really do that, ever.

Side note: the beer is only showing relevance of how close my apt balcony is to the stairwell, but I locked my balcony door.

PS, I just heard Matthew McConaughey's voice pimping Reliant Energy. Weird.

beer for who?

If you know me (if you are reading this, then you know me), then you know this had me laughing hard for the rest of the night. Serious, I kept giggling till I went to bed. It was even funnier since the person with me was drinking a ML.

Beer for dogs

It is the last report at 1:20.

Enjoy. I am still giggling.

Please stop

I was trying to have fun...find myself...be myself & f-you a-hole six months ago. I have realized I already know myself, i was the moron for accepting inappropriate behavior and I am control of my own single happiness.

I follow blogs that can spell, know grammar & have seem to have there semi/not-so-much-  shiznet together. I have none of the above. I have a retarded dog, pretend beer pallet and charming smile. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kamikaze all extremes!